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Welcome To Free Online Personal Ads!
Original Male Ethics Code
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Free-Online-Personal-Ads.com would like to welcome you to our funny relationship humor and jokes archive! Literally hundreds of spam free jokes, pictures and parodies for your enjoyment.
A humorous look at how men and women differ via our light hearted battle of the sexes!
We also feature interesting sex facts and statistics , amazing world sex records and related trivia. All humor pages are pop up free and unlike most every other site, we don't attempt to download any funky spyware programs to your computer or enable java scripts to track your movements.
Find the largest compilation of jokes and satire that will tickle your funny bone, and maybe even make you think! Though most the archive is rather tame compared to most other sites with similiar content, the material is intended for adults only, 18 years of age and older. We hope you get a nice giggle or two and thank you for dropping by!
Really means...."There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means...."Why isn't it already on the table?"
"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means....Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"It would take too long to explain."
Really means..."I have no idea how it works."
"I'm getting more exercise lately."
Really means...."The batteries in the remote are dead."
"We're going to be late."
Really means...."Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac." "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means...."I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"That's interesting, dear."
Really means...."Are you still talking?"
"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
Really means...."I forgot our anniversary again."
"You expect too much of me."
Really means...."You want me to stay awake."
"It's a really good movie."
Really means...."It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear."
"That's women's work."
Really means...."It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."
"Will you marry me?"
Really means...."Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."
"You know how bad my memory is."
Really means...."I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
Really means...."The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Really means...."I have severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
"I do help around the house."
Really means...."I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."
"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means...."I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon."
"I can't find it."
Really means...."It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"What did I do this time?"
Really means...."What did you catch me doing?"
"She's one of those rabid feminists."
Really means...."She refused to make my coffee."
"I heard you."
Really means...."I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
"You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means...."I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
"You look terrific."
Really means...."Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."
"I brought you a present."
Really means...."It was a free ice scraper night at the ball game."
"I missed you."
Really means...."I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."
"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means...."I'm lost. I have no idea where we are, and no one will ever see us alive again."
"We share the housework."
Really means...."I make the messes, you clean them up."
"This relationship is getting too serious."
Really means...."You're cutting into the time I spend with my truck."
"I don't need to read the instructions."
Really means...."I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."
"I'll fix the garbage disposal later."
Really means...."If I wait long enough you'll get frustrated and buy a new one."
We also feature interesting sex facts and statistics , amazing world sex records and related trivia. All humor pages are pop up free and unlike most every other site, we don't attempt to download any funky spyware programs to your computer or enable java scripts to track your movements.
Find the largest compilation of jokes and satire that will tickle your funny bone, and maybe even make you think! Though most the archive is rather tame compared to most other sites with similiar content, the material is intended for adults only, 18 years of age and older. We hope you get a nice giggle or two and thank you for dropping by!
The Male Code that Women Should Memorize!
"It's a guy thing."Really means...."There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means...."Why isn't it already on the table?"
"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means....Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"It would take too long to explain."
Really means..."I have no idea how it works."
"I'm getting more exercise lately."
Really means...."The batteries in the remote are dead."
"We're going to be late."
Really means...."Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac." "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means...."I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"That's interesting, dear."
Really means...."Are you still talking?"
"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
Really means...."I forgot our anniversary again."
"You expect too much of me."
Really means...."You want me to stay awake."
"It's a really good movie."
Really means...."It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear."
"That's women's work."
Really means...."It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."
"Will you marry me?"
Really means...."Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."
"You know how bad my memory is."
Really means...."I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
Really means...."The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Really means...."I have severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
"I do help around the house."
Really means...."I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."
"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means...."I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon."
"I can't find it."
Really means...."It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"What did I do this time?"
Really means...."What did you catch me doing?"
"She's one of those rabid feminists."
Really means...."She refused to make my coffee."
"I heard you."
Really means...."I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
"You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means...."I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
"You look terrific."
Really means...."Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."
"I brought you a present."
Really means...."It was a free ice scraper night at the ball game."
"I missed you."
Really means...."I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."
"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means...."I'm lost. I have no idea where we are, and no one will ever see us alive again."
"We share the housework."
Really means...."I make the messes, you clean them up."
"This relationship is getting too serious."
Really means...."You're cutting into the time I spend with my truck."
"I don't need to read the instructions."
Really means...."I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."
"I'll fix the garbage disposal later."
Really means...."If I wait long enough you'll get frustrated and buy a new one."
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Defining Free Memberships All our reviewed dating sites and matchmaking services offer various types of free memberships or trails. Free can have mean serveral meanings, however. The norm? It means you can place personal ads, search profiles for those that interest you. Some have 3 day to one week trials then you have to pony up to stay online. Others have lifetime free memberships but you must pay to contact. Please read any TOS agreements before committing to any site so you're clear on what promotions are being offered, and when they expire if applicable. You can read our entire article about it here
Defining Free Memberships All our reviewed dating sites and matchmaking services offer various types of free memberships or trails. Free can have mean serveral meanings, however. The norm? It means you can place personal ads, search profiles for those that interest you. Some have 3 day to one week trials then you have to pony up to stay online. Others have lifetime free memberships but you must pay to contact. Please read any TOS agreements before committing to any site so you're clear on what promotions are being offered, and when they expire if applicable. You can read our entire article about it here
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Free Online Personal Ads and Dating Sites for Singles!
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